1 Million steps Challenge- Day 7

This is the pond at Burnham Beeches. It was part of our walk through this parkland which has a rich history.

We started our walk from the Beeches cafe and went north as guided by our very informative and knowledgeable Chris. She explained the route we were going to take and where there would be interesting sites to see and learn about. For me personally, the walk was a little tough because I am not used to hilly climbs, but did manage to finish the whole course. I will post pictures rather than words, which are self-explanatory about the beauty of this historic place. I also managed to add just over 10 thousand steps on this 3.8-mile walk towards my diabetes.UK challenge of a million steps by the end of September 2022.

From next week, I will do weekly postings so as not make this journey boring and too lengthy. I’m hoping that all my followers will keep supporting and liking the blog so I can grow and write about more diverse topics as well.

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/visiting-woods/woods/burnham-beeches/

New Beginnings- Week 8

This final week has taught me that losing weight is not easy, but doable. And it takes time and perseverance. The good news is that I haven’t put any weight back on and have ended the 8-week journey at 88kg. The other health stats remain the same and in good stead. I haven’t given up though. The 8-week period may be over but the journey continues. The only difference will be is that there will be no weekly updates.

I have learnt a lot during these 8 weeks, for example, I have learnt about which carbs are good for me and which are not. The foods that have protein and nutrients and wholesome goodness. I have got used to not eating bread or potatoes for weeks at a time. I don’t miss sandwiches and instead will go for a piece of fruit when feeling hungry. Apples and oranges are my favourites. I like bananas, but I’m not allowed these as a diabetic because of the spike in sugar and carbohydrate levels. My smoothie drinks consisted of either oat milk or unsweetened almond milk with a scoop of Nutriseed powder. I would add blueberries or a couple of small strawberries for flavour. I am also an Indian and for obvious reasons, curries and rice and chapattis are a staple diet, but I have managed to cut down by nearly 75% on my Indian food consumption. I eat a lot more salads, and try and make vegetarian or vegan items to go with the salads. For example, vegan sweet potato burgers or beetroot burgers. And stuffed mushrooms with a hint of garlic are my favourite.

I intend to carry on with my diet and exercise routine. And I have signed up to complete 10000 steps a day for the month of March for the Marie Curie Cancer Care Charity. I hope to raise £2000 for this challenge and look forward to any donations to reach my target. Please visit JustGiving and donate to Anil’s fundraising page. Many thanks in advance for any donations received.

Finaly, I would like to say that it has been a great experience sharing my journey with the outside world and showing my vulnerabilities in public. The encouragement I have received has been nothing short of fantastic. So Thank you all for being part of life and I will connect again very soon with another new adventure or something I have already done…eg, My National Trust Journey, that I started in 2020.

Looking forward to sharing some amazing photos of sites I have visited and stories of tbhe places I have been to. Until Then……….!

New Beginnings-Week 1

Today, January 3rd, 2022, I have started what I said I would do, and that is to lose weight and reverse my diabetes. My current weight of 91.2 kg will be brought down to 80kg in eight weeks following Dr. Mosley’s advice in his book “The 8 week Blood sugar diet”. The book sounds very logical in its approach to weight loss and sugar control, as explained in detail by Dr.Mosley.

I am almost a vegan, not fully converted yet so I am having to amend or change some of the recipes provided at the end of the book to suit my lifestyle. But I will keep to the minimum of 800 calories and allow up to 1200 calories on bad days. Coupled with exercise and good eating habits, my target should be reached.

I’ve been a diabetic since 1992 and determined to get off the tablets completely and the two daily injections which work in combination with the medication. I managed to get in more than my 5000 steps daily target by doing an average so far of 6900 with a maximum of 9000. Light to moderate exercise daily for fitness and the all-powerful positive attitude. Nothing ventured nothing gained, right.

This is the day one log. Starting weight 91kg, Blood sugar level at 8.9mmol, and blood pressure at 115/77 with a pulse rate of 79. So a good start to the day, and have almost reached the daily calorie count of 800.

I didn’t cook today as I ate out at a family member’s house. But tomorrow will be different.

A very good start to my sugar check this morning. It was at 6.1. That made me happy. I was on track.

I was up quite early so I decided to do half of my daily walk in the morning for 15 minutes and 3000 steps. Nearly there, but just under by a few 100 steps. Not to worry because I had all day to catch up.

By lunchtime, I had run a couple of errands and then had a Greggs vegetable bake and cinnamon tea followed by a satsuma. I was warned by someone not to drop down to an 800 calorie diet as it would prove to be dangerous due to my diabetic condition, so I have allowed myself to go up to 1200 calories.

I managed to finish all my steps by 7.30pm and had walked for a total of 45 minutes. And also burned about 300 calories in the process, but I broke my target and achieved 7144 steps. Hooray for me. Self-appreciation for self-encouragement. And what interesting food did I have for dinner?

I made myself a Tofo salad. I marinated the tofu in soy sauce, salt, black pepper, and achar(pickle) masala, drizzled it with some olive oil, and air-fried them. Yum. I had the tofu with a portion of little gem lettuce, 1 tomato, cucumber, grated carrot, green pepper, and edamame beans, topped with vinaigrette. Yum again.

Now, I have to be creative tomorrow…….So instead of writing daily, I think weekly will be more digestible(no pun intended). From day three, I had to be more careful as I was constantly thinking of food and what I could eat that would not pile on the calories. I have started to munch on cucumbers, carrots, sugar snap peas to avoid the carbs and maintain my sugar levels. I was advised to increase the daily intake of calories from 800 to about 1500. That is why the weight loss has slowed. I managed to lose 1 kg, but it’s a start. The exercise is going well with the achievement of more than 5000 steps a day. I have been averaging 7000 steps and also 15 minutes on the static bike.

All in all, I’m pleased with my first week’s progress, although I didn’t lose the expected 2 or 3 kg. But positively thinking, making the start, and maintaining the momentum in the first week has boosted my confidence. I know I can do it too. Week two to follow….

New Beginnings

After opening up about my emotions in my last article, “My Emotional State-Revisited”, Today, the first day of 2022 is my chance to start anew. Start by moving forwards with a renewed vigour. I aim to put the past few years in the back of my memory bank, hopefully, to remain as memory, that I am taking as my lessons in life to go forwards.

So what are my plans for 2022.

1/ Get my life back on track. Start Dr. Moseleys 8 week plan to reverse my diabetes. I had started in November 2021, but couldn’t keep a regular pattern. But now I have set the plan, and after tweaking Dr. Moseley’s diet plan to suit my vegetarian/vegan lifestyle, I will succeed. Watch this space for the 8-week journal of my weekly record of changes to my weight, blood sugar levels, and fitness. Also. I will be sharing the recipes that I will be creating for my personal needs.

2/ My website shoutyourheadoff.com will get more posts on a regular basis on my movement forwards and on positive tones. I need to get back my self confidence and my inner strength to cope in any given situation. Once again, watch this space.

3/ A new domain by the name “harshaskitchen.uk” will be launched where I will be posting videos and recipes from my grandmother’s days. so once again, watch this space or rather look out for “harshaskitchen.uk.

I would like to say a big thank you to all the readers and followers of my blogs on “shoutyourheadoff.com” I want to wish all of you a very happy and prosperous new year and a quick return to normality by ridding the country of the Coronovirus. Stay Safe, And look after each other.

My Emotional State

So weeks have gone past and my pen or keyboard has seemed to dry up. Words started to escape me and I found it difficult to express my feelings. I worked the whole of last week starting at 5 am and finishing at 2 pm.However, it didn’t end there as I then I would start my full-time task as a carer to my wife. 24 hours in a day seem not enough and at the end of the week, time, and tiredness catch up with me. Falling asleep at every rest period on the sofa is a regular occurrence. Power naps are a part of my life at the moment and the real sleep only comes on my rest days when I can sleep in for a bit.

As I lay there in my wife’s hospital supplied bed, I kept wondering what was happening to me. I was exhausted, to say the least. I felt constantly emotional. I could not get up and get on with my daily life. I felt that a weight was on top of me and holding me back. Weighing me down.My brain was thinking one thing and I wanted to do something else. I kept wondering if I was suffering from depression too. My emotional state every day was now causing me to worry.

I have been away again for weeks. I could not carry on as I became occupied and my emotional state was getting the better of me. I am normally very good at coping with my challenging situation. Most people tell me that they find it amazing how I do things. How I cope with the daily challenges and still smile and go to work.

What people don’t know is that my life is a complete and utter mess. I want to clean this mess, that I call my life. It is the most difficult, if not impossible to admit this even to myself. Normally a strong minded person, good at dealing with difficult situations and most importantly, staying calm and focused on getting on with it. But I lost it yesterday with someone. Not my wife I must add. I didn’t want to scream at her or above all, loose my composure. Showing a weakness was extremely hurtful to me. I was shaking inside. My heartbeat was up and my forehead was full of sweat. I felt this burning feeling in my body, like when you are hot with a temperature. My hands were shaking and my palms were damp. I didn’t believe that someone could consume me with anger so much. I had to walk away, so I went upstairs and ran the bath! I was actually about to that before I lost it! I shut the door and ran the cold water tap for a few seconds to get the water colder. I threw some over my face and wet my hair. I felt a cooling sensation. Phew!! Any more time with her downstairs and I would surely have lost it completely. Mental note, “must not be vulnerable like this again.”

I just got into work. It is 21:56 pm. I swipe in. There is just me and the Team Leader in the front office reception area. He comes over as I am putting down my rucksack in the usual desk that I sit at. He shakes my hand to welcome me and asks me how I am? And lo and behold I face downwards, walk past him to the back of the partition and break up. Crying!! Never have I before done this. I don’t normally show anyone my emotional state. I am good at hiding pain!

What is happening? I am seriously losing it.

I walk away, into the disabled toilet. Again a cold water remedy to get me back together.

I can’t let this happen. I get my composure back, Apologise to the Team Leader, whose response was as expected. “don’t worry have some time at the back”. “We all get like this sometimes” ” Go, please get some time to gather yourself.”

But I couldn’t because I would have lost it more. I buried my head in work and started serving customers, who, luckily for me, began to come in one by one.

This time I have had two close calls. I cannot break down or lose it. I have to be the Scorpio character that people tell me I am. Not good at pretending and making up stories. For me, it has always been the whole truth or nothing else. Emotion is to me, who I am at my worst, if I am crying! Happy emotion is when I am always smiling, but these two occasions have dented my strong pride and surely I can’t be going in the downward spiral?

What next? I need help and know how and where to get it, however it’s not as simple as that. Sometimes the most easiest things seem the hardest and this is one of those situations where it is hard.

Explore and Discover day at British Airways Engineering

A great day out at the Explore and Discover day at the Engineering base at Heathrow. Amazing presentations and shows lined up for all tastes. I particularly enjoyed the simulator experience that my son and grand daughter went on. Also managed to get Harsha on it as well. The sun was out, atmosphere fantastic and very enjoyable. Saw a Michael Jackson tribute act…I’m sure after seeing this ,he’s in hiding somewhere!!!

Cancer Changed My Life. Pt 2

As I entered the house, my first thought was to protect Mum from my fears. Her own fragile state of mind needed careful handling. I went into the lounge and sat down. We had some normal chit chat and then I got up to make some tea and sandwiches. As I entered the lounge with a tray in my hands, I saw immediately that Mum was having an epileptic fit and was frothing at the mouth. She was semi conscious.Once again,I felt that lonely dread,but quickly gathered my emotions and rang for an ambulance.It was the 2nd of April 2007. And it was about four in the afternoon. I followed the ambulance back to the hospital that I had had only left a short time back. My mind was  racing here and there. Loneliness engulfed me.In the rush to get to Mum to hospital,I had forgotten to call a family member for help. Mitesh was in North London and Rakhi was at her college. No one could have got to me in time except my sisters or Brother. But I didn’t want to panic anyone into rushing to the Hospital in case Mum got released soon from there.

My problems had taken a back burner. I didn’t know which way this was going to play. I had my pre assessment as well at the very same hospital tomorrow! How am I going to cope with all this and what is happening.Mum got admitted to Ward 9 west at the Hospital and she was on a drip and on oxygen. Her state of health was not good, but I had to leave her there and go home.

Early next morning,3rd April,I attended my pre assessment for my operation to remove one of my tonsils. Everything was arranged and then I went to Ward 9 west for my visit to see how Mum was. She was sat up in bed looking a little worse for wear,but better than yesterday. I sat down next to her and was immediately lost in deep thought.What is tomorrow going to bring? How bad is the cancer ? How long ? Can’t bear the thought. I’m already worried about how my family are going to cope without me. I’m worried deeply about Mum. She doesn’t have the mental capacity to cope. Her memory is not good. She has not been able to look after herself at all without any help. She doesn’t even dress herself like she used to. And then Tish and Rakhi. What will become of them? Try as I must, I can’t dispel these negative frame of my mind. I am numb with fear but having to show bravado that doesn’t exist ! Putting on a brave face is not easy in these circumstances.But try I must.

Late evening, I get ready to go back to an empty house.My thoughts are stuck in one place. Tomorrow, 4th April. Big day. I do my daily prayers and ask for guidance and strength to cope. I have not discussed my problems in detail with anyone as yet apart from Bipin. He knows my troubles up to a point. I haven’t told Tish or Rakhi yet.

I arrive at the hospital and go to Ward 3. I am being prepared for the operation that will determine the type of cancer and at what stage it is. I’m lying on the operating table and the nurses are chatting away nicely at me. I can’t remember when I fell asleep after the anathestic was administered. I can remember being woken up and told to sit up. There is only a slight soreness in my throat. I’m offered a cup of tea and some toast. I’ve got to eat.I’m also a diabetic.! About midday I’m told I can leave. The operation was successful,and results should be available in a few days.The numbness in my head doesn’t go away. The negative thoughts are never ending. All I can see ahead is doom and gloom.

As I enter Ward 9 west, I am once again forced to change my demeanour. Mum musn’t have any clue to my troubles. Her state of health hasn’t improved. She has already been here 3 days.I don’t know how much longer she will have to remain in hospital..She has many battles to overcome. And mine are just beginning !

I’m not about to be defeated though. I’ve already accepted that I have to fight this demon and win the battle ,and come out of it to move forward in our lives. The road is a long haul and so many obstacles to overcome.

Cancer Changed My Life Pt 1

When I walked out of the consultant’s room and met Bally the senior Nurse,I knew that my whole life was about to change. Nothing was confirmed. No MRI scans had been done,no blood tests nor did I feel anything at all. No illness,no temperature,no blood pressure,no nothing apart from the fact that I found swallowing food difficult.

So Bally hands me a form to have an MRI scan within a week,and as we were coming up to the Easter bank holiday weekend,It was surprising how quickly Bally was able to arrange things. This is when I knew. As I had stepped out from the consultants room,I had known.And I was so afraid. My heart was pumping like a steam engine at full throttle.

Suddenly, there were a million thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts of my wife whom I call Mum. A son and my Daughter. Then there were my sisters, Brothers, in-laws and the list went on. Then they were about the house. Followed by a million what ifs.

I was dumbstruk. I got in the car and tears were welling up in my eyes. I’m asking that great Man in the heavens above..WHY me ? I was on autopilot.

I sat behind the steering wheel,started the car and drove out of the hospital car park.

On the way home,those thoughts running through my head were getting worse.I couldn’t possibly put them all down on paper.

I don’t remember when I got home. But I parked the car as I usually do,half on and off the pavement. I picked up the mobile from the dashboard and instinctively dialed a number I knew would respond.

When he picked up the phone, I immediately broke down. I couldn’t carry on.The lump in my throat felt like a large rock stuck there.It was choking me .

He was panicking at the other end of the phone.Very controlled as always.”What is the matter,I’m coming over”.”No I said”.First words spoken since I drove from the hospital. “I think I have Cancer “

I’m coming over” Again I said “No I need time to think. I’ll call you.”

Are you sure,I think you need someone.”

“I know but I need to be alone for a few minutes before going inside the house”

” OK ! Look if you need I’ll be there as soon as you call”

“Thanks, I know you will, bye for now”

And with that I ended the call. I sat for what seemed an eternity ,looking at the sky and the passing traffic. But in reality, I was there only a couple of minutes. I had to go home. I had left Mum by herself. She was ill herself and I’d been gone long enough. Time to get back to routine. I didn’t know then, but this one 20 minute appointment with Ear Nose and Throat specialist would change the course and thinking of my life ahead………………………..!

Daddy’s Girl

I sit here and daydream of the future and how it seems that I can picture my wedding day

My Daddy walking me down the aisle

To meet my fate

I look over at him and see a single tear

He’s thinking he’s losing his baby

His biggest fear

But I love him more than ever on this day

So I look at him and blow a kiss his way

He has been there every single day of my life

He has been the provider through all my struggles and strife

I would be lost if he hadn’t shown me the way

I don’t know that I would have made it from day to day

I am so very lucky for all he has done

Out of all the Dad’s he’s the best one

I love you dad my best friend the mate,my soul, My Rock,ALWAYS

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Rakhi

Just One Day

Just One Day

10 years ago I was an engine

Running on a fuel of abundance, love

Two little innocence

And my taker from the above

Inside the power is strong but the,

Evaporation around me

Is draining me,

Can’t find the right words

Speech has become vigorous for me!

So I pledge my existence

For the exchange and patience

I’m slowly but surely waiting

For Just One Day.

 

Now my trace is found

But never felt because of the

Bitter sweet bites

My happiness is profound

Now all I wait for is my Flight

But it never comes in time

A glance at the tick, my Grandfathers watch

We rise from our herds, at sunset,

To fight against

Politics and Rocks

So again,

I pledge my existence

For the exchange and mere patience

Immensely anticipating

For Just One Day!

 

Rakhi Joshi

 

Dedicated to My Father Anil Joshi.