Substantiating the journey of my first two books

Published June 9, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

Explore and Discover day at British Airways Engineering

Published June 8, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

A great day out at the Explore and Discover day at the Engineering base at Heathrow. Amazing presentations and shows lined up for all tastes. I particularly enjoyed the simulator experience that my son and grand daughter went on. Also managed to get Harsha on it as well. The sun was out, atmosphere fantastic and very enjoyable. Saw a Michael Jackson tribute act…I’m sure after seeing this ,he’s in hiding somewhere!!!

To Sleep ,Perchance to Dream

Published June 3, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

I went to bed quite late the other night. I was on a very early start for work and needed a much deserved sleep prior to facing another challenging day. As I lay in bed looking at the ceiling where luminous stars had been stuck to imitate the starry night outside, my mind kept wondering to a what if situation. I kept thinking back to 1972 when I first landed in my country of residence with only the clothes on our backs. My mind was wondering if I had settled somewhere else instead of Leicester, where would I be today. I had started work at the tender age of fifteen and a half ! I had lied to get the job and told them I was sixteen.

So I suddenly wake up, or had I slept at all even? I could not for the life of me close my eyes and not think of “what If”.

And the what if’s of our lives can bring either miserly depression or a happiness not known to me . I kept thinking about my place of residence. What if I had moved to my choice area.But I needed consent. I was brought up in a house where even as an adult, I would seek permission do do even the simplest of things,like make a decision. A decision that would have changed my life and those around me. The stars were bright again. They shone in the darkness of the room. My eyes were open again. A quick glance at the wall clock. 03.30 am. ! Two hours and I’m at work.

Eyes closed again. Thoughts are astray, it’s that “what if ” question again. And so many of the what ifs keep trundling through my brain like a runaway train. It’s non stop. I can’t apply the brakes because I like the what ifs. They are much better than my current status. So what if wins for tonight. It’s taking over my life tonight.

Another bright star in my eyes. It’s bright yellow. But still on my bedroom ceiling.Another wish shattered. I think a cloud should hide them stars. Maybe it should rain while I’m looking up. I’ll wake up drenched and see reality.

The time is 4.45am Time to jump out of bed as the alarm goes off in unison to my thoughts. As I open my eyes for the millionth time tonight, the over whelming” what if” comes back to haunt me. I know the rest of my sleep depraved day is going to keep the” what if” alive and well.!!

I take a deep breath. I look around. Rub my eyes and look at the ceiling. Tired, yes but not out yet. Then it suddenly dawns on me ( no pun intended) . What if this was just a dream. !

Grey Friday

Published May 22, 2015 by ptevani

My first blog post on SYHO and I’m afraid it’s not gonna be chirpy.

I usually am chirpy, but I was anxious about the election results.

When I woke up, the grey clouds told me something that I already knew.

I didn’t vote for the Tories. I never will. I know others that didn’t…so how is this even possible?

It’s a pity Labour didn’t live up to some of our expectations.

There’s many reasons why Labour didn’t win or why we aren’t in the process of creating another Coalition.

I’m always the glass is half full kinda gal, but for one day and a few nights only, I’ll always wonder ‘what if’….

And as someone said to me this week, I leave you with these parting words:

Keep living the dream…

The Moment When President Obama Realized He Needed Luther

Published April 27, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

This is hilarious if you’re American and understand everything the guy in the back is on about.

Longreads

-From Zadie Smith’s New Yorker profile of Comedy Central stars Key and Peele. Keegan-Michael Key reprised his role as Luther for President Obama’s weekend speech at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

Read the story

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Documentary Photography: Photos of the Week

Published April 11, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

DOCIT

Check out what PJ students at the International Centre of Photography were up to this week.

Light and Shadow/Soumita Bhattacharya

Grand Central Terminal/Yolande Daeninck

Playing with Portrait – Camila Svenson/Griselda San Martin

Playing with Portrait – Shih-Chieh Wei/Griselda San Martin

Playing with Portrait – Fabiana Sala/Griselda San Martin

Montauk End of the World/Sara Frisby

Portrait – Esteban Kuriel/Shih-Chieh Wei

Portrait – Griselda San Martin/Shih-Chieh Wei

Arrival on Staten Island/Gareth Smit

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How To Be, In Silence

Published April 7, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

I love to read what the Dalai Lama has to say. His wisdom is inspiring to say the least and if some if not all is followed ,it could lead to a more acceptable, and peaceful life

Longreads

The social world, for all of its fundamental gifts — love, empathy, the lessons arguing provides — obscures the whole self, allowing each of us to mute what is harder to absorb about ourselves in a din of habit and distraction. When an artist breaks through that din, which seems to grow ever louder, she reflects solitude’s crisis: the challenge of being, unmasked.
“I wanted to be quiet in a nonquiet situation,” the composer John Cage wrote in 1948, while he was still formulating a solution that would eventually lead to his famous innovation of writing music with no notes at all. In 1949, the most famous monk of the last century — Thomas Merton — lamented that even cloistered religious people had become too conscious of what their renunciations might do, keeping silence as a form of payback for all the clatter in the world, instead of accessing…

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What is ShoutYourHeadOff

Published March 20, 2015 by shoutyourheadoff

Shout Your Head Off? What’s it all about then?

In a few words, SYHO (as we like to call it) is about freedom of speech.

SYHO was founded due to frustrations with the systems that govern our lives and I wanted to basically ‘shout my head off’ at everything and to anyone that would listen. That’s how SYHO was born, so I immediately registered the domain name “Shoutyourheadoff.com”.

I’ve built a close SYHO Team and so far we have been working undercover; gathering opinions, creating our vision and I have been bombarding the SYHO Team with my shouts via e-mail, in meetings and over the phone!

Our Goal & Purpose

The SYHO Team are a disparate bunch. We cover a number of tick boxes just by our age ranges alone….and our backgrounds are very diverse, BUT the vision and message of SYHO unifies us.

The goal is to get everyone who wants to shout at or about something using our SYHO Platform to do so.

Maybe it’s a birthday, a party, a live music gig, a book launch, or you want to start a debate? SYHO is the place to get the ball rolling. You want to record a video and upload your views? Upload an inspiring song? A thought-provoking film clip? The options are going to be endless.

What’s the small print?

Naturally, no slanderous comments, racial abuse, sexual harassment, or libellous ‘stuff’ will be permitted. The SYHO Team is about respect and we want our partners, contributors and viewers to embrace this philosophy.

You can browse the site for free, but if you want to contribute, you gotta join and become a SYHO Member. It’s free!

We want to inspire you to use your voices so they impact our community / society / country in a positive way. Hey, why not even go global. At the end of the day, we are online and accessible 24×7, by anyone in the world.

Last but not least, the SYHO Enterprise is continually evolving and gathering momentum. We also want to hear your views and ideas. We like to think of this as the SYHO Community, so we hope you will join us on this adventure and contribute.

Remember, there is a ‘shout’ for everyone. You choose the topic and get your voice listened to, not just heard!
Spread the word and let’s get ‘SHOUTING’…

Cancer Changed My Life. Pt 2

Published December 1, 2014 by shoutyourheadoff

As I entered the house, my first thought was to protect Mum from my fears. Her own fragile state of mind needed careful handling. I went into the lounge and sat down. We had some normal chit chat and then I got up to make some tea and sandwiches. As I entered the lounge with a tray in my hands, I saw immediately that Mum was having an epileptic fit and was frothing at the mouth. She was semi conscious.Once again,I felt that lonely dread,but quickly gathered my emotions and rang for an ambulance.It was the 2nd of April 2007. And it was about four in the afternoon. I followed the ambulance back to the hospital that I had had only left a short time back. My mind was racing here and there. Loneliness engulfed me.In the rush to get to Mum to hospital,I had forgotten to call a family member for help. Mitesh was in North London and Rakhi was at her college. No one could have got to me in time except my sisters or Brother. But I didn’t want to panic anyone into rushing to the Hospital in case Mum got released soon from there.

My problems had taken a back burner. I didn’t know which way this was going to play. I had my pre assessment as well at the very same hospital tomorrow! How am I going to cope with all this and what is happening.Mum got admitted to Ward 9 west at the Hospital and she was on a drip and on oxygen. Her state of health was not good, but I had to leave her there and go home.

Early next morning,3rd April,I attended my pre assessment for my operation to remove one of my tonsils. Everything was arranged and then I went to Ward 9 west for my visit to see how Mum was. She was sat up in bed looking a little worse for wear,but better than yesterday. I sat down next to her and was immediately lost in deep thought.What is tomorrow going to bring? How bad is the cancer ? How long ? Can’t bear the thought. I’m already worried about how my family are going to cope without me. I’m worried deeply about Mum. She doesn’t have the mental capacity to cope. Her memory is not good. She has not been able to look after herself at all without any help. She doesn’t even dress herself like she used to. And then Tish and Rakhi. What will become of them? Try as I must, I can’t dispel these negative frame of my mind. I am numb with fear but having to show bravado that doesn’t exist ! Putting on a brave face is not easy in these circumstances.But try I must.

Late evening, I get ready to go back to an empty house.My thoughts are stuck in one place. Tomorrow, 4th April. Big day. I do my daily prayers and ask for guidance and strength to cope. I have not discussed my problems in detail with anyone as yet apart from Bipin. He knows my troubles up to a point. I haven’t told Tish or Rakhi yet.

I arrive at the hospital and go to Ward 3. I am being prepared for the operation that will determine the type of cancer and at what stage it is. I’m lying on the operating table and the nurses are chatting away nicely at me. I can’t remember when I fell asleep after the anathestic was administered. I can remember being woken up and told to sit up. There is only a slight soreness in my throat. I’m offered a cup of tea and some toast. I’ve got to eat.I’m also a diabetic.! About midday I’m told I can leave. The operation was successful,and results should be available in a few days.The numbness in my head doesn’t go away. The negative thoughts are never ending. All I can see ahead is doom and gloom.

As I enter Ward 9 west, I am once again forced to change my demeanour. Mum musn’t have any clue to my troubles. Her state of health hasn’t improved. She has already been here 3 days.I don’t know how much longer she will have to remain in hospital..She has many battles to overcome. And mine are just beginning !

I’m not about to be defeated though. I’ve already accepted that I have to fight this demon and win the battle ,and come out of it to move forward in our lives. The road is a long haul and so many obstacles to overcome.